While I've been waiting for my portion of the economic stimulus package, I've been shopping. With the slowdown in the election process and the economy, there's not much else one can do.
My friend Marilyn says, when she feels down, she tries on a few dresses and her perspective returns. Marilyn is a big girl. She struts the street in her white and black stripes and doesn't take crap from anyone. That's why I like to take her along as security at my many public appearances.
Marilyn took me shopping last week as a sort of pick me up. We started at Inga's.
Inga is a feline fashion consultant. She also looks like
Shirley Maclaine . Her ability to dress prominent kitty celebs is renown.
Garfield consulted her on his coat color just before he made it big.
Inga works out of a storefront on Lincoln Street in Calistoga. The facade of number 351 is painted purple with a little inset green door. Marilyn pushed this aside and led me into a completely white room. It was so brightly lit, I felt I was going for an interrogation rather than a consultation, much less a fashion consultation.
"This will make you feel better," Marilyn patted me as we stood waiting.
I was an impatient shopper. "How long will it take the U.S. Congress to figure out we are in a recession and $300 isn't going to pay the bills?" This I addressed to Marilyn. Then to the room I said:" Extend unemployment for those that have been forced to the sidelines of business. Extend a lifeline for those poor writers, editors and public relations flacks that are the first to be pushed out when the bottom line begins to contract. These poor folks won't be able to go out and shop at all." I was beginning to spin out of control. Marilyn took my hand and directed my gaze to the upper corner of the room.
What happened next was hard to explain. Inga's smile slowly developed in the corner. Her laughter could be heard throughout the room. After several seconds the outlines of her tail could be seen. Soon the whole of her body was hovering above us.
"Ah Cato," she giggled and glided towards us gracefully. "I can see the frustration in your face," she whispered in my ear. To the room she said: "You need a facelift."
I bristled at the thought. Mine was a perfectly good face. I was about to say this to her when she popped a turban on my head. Then in rapid succession she proffered a fedora, a derby and a baseball cap.
"Something presidential, please." I just wasn't the hat type.
Inga was a ginger kitty. Her green eyes were large and sparkled with brilliant gold flecks. She always seemed to be in motion, but all that moved on her body now was her tail. She cocked her head to look at me and tapped her toes.
As she did this clothing appeared around us. A gold
Armani suit jacket with deep brown velvet pants hung on the wall. Next shiny stormtrooper boots and a brown leather bomber jacket appeared. I slipped into the boots, but they made me stumble and trip. I already had boots of my own, so they gave me no real fashion flair.
It was then that Inga squealed. "I know Cato...
peep toes. It will bring you new perspective on the world." She spread her paws and there appeared hundreds of peep toe shoes. For the next three hours I tried them on. I felt very different when I was done.
There were peep-toe wedgies and peep-toe pumps. I particularly liked the
Giuseppe Zonotti's that Inga described as "a work of art." I thought they went well with my black and creme fur. There were platform shoes, cone heeled shoes and hundreds of stockings to go with them. I drew the line on
corsets. Althought when I turned sideways in the mirror and looked at my svelt belly, I was tempted to add one to my purchase.
I came away from Inga's with a renewed sense of what I stood for in my presidency. Change based on sound fashion principals. A president should be a leader on all levels -- in thought, deed, word and shoes. I could continue my campaign as long as I wore my peep toes. It was with this renewed sense of civic responsibility and the addition of several several inches to my height, that I headed out to give my next speech on economic development.
