Cato leads the race for governor

It was a glittering, but wet crowd that attended a fundraising pancake breakfast for gubernatorial candidate Cato at the Shellville Fire Station. The candidate's coat, sparkled with water, as he greeted the citizens of this small town in California. He shook hands with the mayor before sitting down to clean his coat of debris from the latest storm racking the region.

As the crowd ate their pancakes, the candidate warmed them up with what has become his stump speech. He addressed allegations made by his opponents that he is under the age limit to run for governor (at three years of age), not human (feline), does not hold American citizenship (he was born in McCarthy's garage in Sonoma, but does not have a birth certificate), is not a registered voter ("There has never been anyone to vote for until now.") and does not even speak English and cannot be understood without a translator ("I do not understand Bush at all and he speaks English!")

"If it is the will of the people of California and I am elected Governor, I will serve to the best of my ability. I believe this great state deserves to be led by the best and the brightest," he said to the crowd.

The applause went on for five full minutes at the end of the speech.

The Ayatollah Khatmeni, who attended to show his support, gave the blessing and embraced the candidate. Turning to the crowd, he said: "This is your best bet for the future, for the State of California and for the nation."

In an interview afterwards, the Ayatollah commented that while "Cato does not display his religious beliefs publicly; in private he is very devout. The Party of God is blessed with his presence."

Candidate Cato is on record saying that he will not put his religious beliefs on display if elected. "Our forefathers came to America to escape religious persecution. I will not be a party to excluding or harassing those whose beliefs differ from my own. California does not have a state religion and for that matter, neither does the United States. What I believe is between me and the great cat of all. What you believe is between you and whoever."

After the breakfast, Cato was allowed to climb on the fire truck and ride around town with the siren blaring.

There are unconfirmed reports that several Hollywood Celebrities also attended the affair. Actress and "fur person" Shirley Maclaine was seen. Other celebrities included supermodel Christy Turlington and the rock star Bono. There have been several rumors floating that Cato enjoys sitting in Turlington's lap, but Cato refuses to comment on this and other romantic liaisons. "I am fixed, so not much can happen. If I enjoy a pretty lap over another, what's the harm? A warm lap is a thing of beauty."

Contributions to the candidate have reached $767 million; more than 10 times what his opponents have earned. Opinion polls are running high as well. Some 40 percent of registered Republicans and 70 percent of Democrats have indicated they will vote for him in the coming election. Among felines there seems to be uninimity that he will win and win big.

Comments

[kross-eyed kitty]

Cato is very pretty! I have a blue point Siamese named Mao, he looks quite different from Cato.

[Gigolo Kitty]

The Cato has Gigolo Kitty's vote. The GK asks, does Cato care to hire him as a wardrobe consultant? He is a dab hand at picking the correct accessory and his taste in ties and turbans is impeccable.

[Cato]

Cato is flattered that Gigolo Kitty would like to help. Frankly he needs help with pants.

[Cheysuli]

Cato, I look forward to seeing you elected as governor. I am considering adding my paw to the ring in the 2008 presidential election and I have high hopes that you will be a great ambassador for all Meezer kind in positions of authority.

[Mona the Black Cat]

my predesessor was a traditional apple head sealpoint siamese named Phoebe Bee Bee Siamesey. I never met her, but I watch her videos, and I can see that she was articlulate and beautiful. Phoebe lived to 20 years of age, so I wish you many, many years of public service!